The Agoratic Campaign

Session 49

Day 196
A trio of wyverns teleport in while Ssay and Euchtia are preparing to leave to check up on the town. Lelyss notices the commotion, but before she has waddled her ample behind to the entrance, the intruders have been dispatched. The rider on one of the wyverns is stored for later questioning and Shelby finds a crystal hanging from a string around his neck. Euchtia takes it for further examination while Ssay notifies Aisha that there’s possibly meat to be had.
However, before Euchtia can go all necromantic on the dead wyverns, a squad of knights arrive. They turn out to be the Inquisition — whom Lelyss has called for without anyone’s knowledge! Euchtia does her best to conceal her reaction but blurts out an outraged “WHAT!?” nevertheless. There is some discussion about tactics, before the Duchess decides the Inquisitorial troops should conceal themselves rather than fortify the town too heavily, afraid that the cultists might avoid attacking.
As the inquisition leaves to set up camp, Lelyss and Ssay notice Euchtia is still up in her room. Ssay worries she has slipped back into her coma, while Lelyss asks if the vampire is mad about what happened earlier. Euchtia assures them she is fine, though her expression is inscrutable. Satisfied with this answer, Lelyss goes back to gorging herself. Euchtia takes up Ssay’s offer to “have some fun” and the two duke it out on the training field as night falls.

Session 48

Day 196
After analyzing the collars of the fallen hydra, Jacobs tells the party what he has discovered. Due to usual Lelyss and Ssay misunderstanding the discussion gets fixated on blood flow which prompts Aliya to storm out of the room and up to Euchtia’s quarters. Remembering that Euchtia has not been drinking blood for a long time, she picks up the puddingy vampire and lets her drink deeply. The snake women are obviously puzzled, prompting the bodyguard to quip that she should probably give the two a lecture on vampirism later.
The party speculates on who might have sent the hydra, but decide to convene the resident mages to come up with a solution. With Rupert and Euchtia meeting up in Jacobs’ workshop and Ssay even hauling Rosa out of the kitchen they confirm that the collars are indeed scrying devices. Rupert speculates that he might be able to reverse the scrying and sets to work on that.

Session 46 & 47

Day 192-194
Defeating the ogre, the party returns to the mansion, Euchtia immediately stumbling to bed and falling asleep again. The others gather in the main hall, with Lelyss bragging to the kobold guests about how they defeated the cultists. The kobolds reveal that the head of the cult is probably still alive, because they don’t think it was the ogre. They guess said leader might arrive in about ten to twelve days, something which prompts Ssay to tell Lelyss to spend the time “gathering her strength” before realizing this means an eternity of boredom!
After whipping the help into shape… and into feeding their Duchess properly, the naga visits Euchtia hoping to entice her into fighting with a delicious trifle. However, Euchtia is comatose and even after subsequent sugary entreaties, she barely has the strength to summon a few skeletons. Ssay gives up and along with Aliya, who is worried sick, proceeds to bring the vampire all the sweet treats Lin can conjure in an attempt to energize her.

Day 195
The Second Ducal Breakfast is barely under way when a flash of purple alerts the mansion to shenanigans. Busy stuffing her face with tyrannoburgers, Lelyss asks if anyone’s going to see what’s going on but Ssay, excited at the prospect of fighting a mighty arcane beast, has already rushed to the door, only to find a large hydra. Rushing back to fetch her gear, the naga is soon followed by the others — sans Euchtia who cannot be roused from her bed — and they take fight to the beast. Both Shelby and Lelyss wound the hydra grievously, but its wounds seem to close as it lunges at the rogue, nearly biting her in half. Rushing to the battered Shelby’s aid, Ssay grabs the hydra, pulling it back just as a flight of fiery arrows tear through three of its throats, suddenly leaving the naga holding an ex-hydra.
“Who’s up for thirds?” Lelyss asks blithely and heads back inside while Ssay is about to follow when she notices Shelby dropping to the ground. She brings the unconscious rogue to Rufus who heals the worst of Shelby’s wounds. After bringing the beast to Aisha for the orc chef to work her magic and its mysterious collars to Jacobs, Ssay goes to brag to Euchtia about how awesome the fight she just missed was. However, apart from looking pretty bloated from all the desserts she has been fed the vampire’s condition has not changed. Ssay makes a few suggestions, but Aliya doesn’t seem convinced by them so the naga leaves to ask the others for advice — and make sure the kitchen help is providing Euchtia with enough sweet treats to help her recovery (she even muttered this time so it must be working!). Noticing the naga’s interest, Aliya eventually decides to go find her to do a little more brainstorming on the matter.

Session 45

Day 192
After a refreshing night in the bath, Lelyss gets a relatively early start and by the time Ssay and Shelby stir, she’s already consumed today’s breakfast in cooperation with Aliya. Seeing the Duchess left apparently unattended, Ssay calls the servants to bring her more food. Though already stuffed, Lelyss joins Ssay and Shelby in another round, this rivalling the first in generousness.
This second feast is rudely interrupted by a battered militiaman screaming about lizardfolk trashing the town. Eager for action, Ssay springs up to wake Euchtia, but finds her limp in her bed under Aliya’s care. Even after she has been brought along, Euchtia seems dull and unresponsive in Aliya’s arms.
The party find the road blocked by a lizardfolk barricade and their opening salvo shoot up Ssay and Schultz pretty bad! As the rest advance, Lelyss somehow manages to get over the wall lining the road despite her bloated state (a tail nudge from Ssay perhaps?). However, her flanking maneuver takes a peculiar turn when she drops down on a band of lizardmen hiding in ambush behind the wall, crushing two under her double-breakfast-fortified bulk. Meanwhile, the Expanded Ssay easily lifts Rufus out of the way so that Euchtia can summon a deadly fog that roils over the battlements. With Ssay charging down the middle, crushing those cowardly gunners, Lelyss and Shelby taking on the ambushers on one side (and Schultz failing to get over the wall after them) and Aliya on the other while Rufus heads off the priest fleeing the cloud, the party makes short work of the enemy and continue.
In the town, there is pandemonium. The “militia” is tied up and the houses are being looted and set on fire. A vicious-looking ogre rides out to meet the party on a tyrannosaurus and starts to taunt them. He calls them unbelievers and unworthy before casting a spell that causes the dinosaurs accompanying him to double in size! Battle is joined, spells and weapons flying every which way and even as the enemy falls around the party more come crawling out of doors and windows…

Session 44

Day 191 (cont.)
After getting everyone out of the pit trap, the party continues to head along the path of destruction, with Rufus the Kobold deigning to hitch a ride with Schultz in his eagerness to get to grips with the raiders.
It is not long before they happen upon the creator of this improvised highway, a gargantuan three-horned lizardbeast that rivals Ssay in size even as she uses her Expansion to its full potential. Charging straight for the most obvious target, the dinosaur slams into Ssay nearly knocking her out. However, a grudging heal from Rufus brings her back in good shape just as one of the lizardmen on the dino’s howdah reaches out to swipe Ssay with its claw, muttering a spell and something about a sacrifice that is not quite ready. However, Ssay is undeterred and as two arrows from Lelyss hit the horned beast in the eye and its unarmored neck she follows the deadly cloud summoned by Euchtia and wades into the enemy. Plucking the offending cleric from his perch and giving him a good squeeze, the naga pauses briefly before lashing out with her tail, wrapping it around her gargantuan foe. Leaning in with all her weight and strength, calling upon the full extent of her powers, she wrestles the beast into submission, squeezing the last drops of life from the mighty creature as it succumbs to its wounds. While this is going on, Schultz and Shelby fan out, dealing with the smaller minions as Ssay slowly squeezes the life out of the cleric as well.
With their enemies defeated, the party is left in a field of dead lizards and dumbfounded cows. Ssay and Lelyss postpone an attempt by Euchtia to reanimate the horn-beast, wishing to save the meat seeing as how, as Ssay puts it, “Stupid Greenface likes eating things.” Lelyss decides to employ her animal handling skills to press the cows into service as draft animals, but they aren’t too keen on her less-than-thought-out approach. With the lamia pulling and Aliya pushing on one of the stubborn beasts the whole ordeal ends with one cow moving a meter and the two would-be wranglers flat on their face. Catching wind of this, Ssay rushes over to berate the cow for its bad treatment of a Duchess. Fed up, she responds to Lelyss rambling line of reasoning that cows must be intelligent by growing back to enormous size and scooping up cows left and right and depositing them for Shelby to hitch up to the trike-corpse. The cows secured, the naga shows them what to do by leading by example and helping them haul the thing back.

The massive creature is met with great excitement by Aisha the orcish cook, but less so by the sensitive Liling who locks herself up at the smell. Only once it has been butchered and made ready to cook does she reemerge, pushing a plate of sweet dumplings on Euchtia as a welcome-home present. The vampire is dazed but delighted as she is showered in cake and sweets, even as the already well-dumplinged Lilith and Lelyss beg for a taste. Lelyss is despondent and shocked to learn that the kitsune cook has not prepared a cake for her, to which Liling responds that only Euchtia “deserves it for putting up with so much”. Thankfully, Lelyss is soon distracted by the first portion of tri-steak, which she attacks with abandon. Aisha’s claim of its deliciousness seems truthful — and she should know, having already sneaked a taste as she is wont.
One by one, the others congregate in the bath, with Ssay and Aliya making some booze-related small talk. However, they are soon accosted by Liling and servants carrying a plethora of dishes and desserts, serving the puzzles Euchtia in the bath. Thus stocked, the party enjoys the pleasant water and pleasant food until they are joined by a Lelyss who has been stuffing herself within an inch of immobility on hornbeast meat. Helped into the bath by Ssay, Lelyss is fed the dumplings she wanted earlier by the naga even as she dozes off, coming to rest on Ssay’s comforting bulk. With the lamia and vampire distracted, however, Shelby sees an opportunity to sneak off with some of the tantalizing treats on the other side of the pool. It ends badly with her toppling into the bath, making Aliya launch into an angry tirade about the rogue’s efforts in training the “militia”.

Session 42 + 43

Day 184
After a week of Lelyss new idea to hold regular feasts (which Shelby participates in with gusto) party get asked to find a beast killing a cow.
At the farm, they are given doughnuts that even the stuffed members accept gladly. Lelyss looks around the place while being fed doughnuts by Ssay.
As Ssay readies her weapons and asks Lelyss if the creature that did this might return while the party is there, the lamia is barely given time to answer before a pack of lizards riding dinosaurs come crashing out of the woods. They jump the fence to the enclosure and deftly avoid the naga’s attacks.
The raiders are defeated and it is discovered they carry holy symbols dedicated to the Night Mother.

Day 191
A trio of kobolds arrive at the mansion and inquire about the skeletal dragon the party defeated in the jungle pyramid. The party is not inclined to leave to be “probed” at the kobold capital, but the visitors are given the dragon’s skull which Ssay had kept.
While talking, the cow farmer guy returns and the party heads out catch a huge beast that has taken the last of his cows. Following its tracks (with Ssay gently steering Lelyss back on track without the lamia realizing) the party (Shelby excepted) fall into a pit trap and are ambushed. They manage to fend off the attackers, however and a dwarf pleads for his life before it is choked out of him by Ssay’s coils. Euchtia interrogates him and it seems he was coerced into fighting.

Session 40

Day 178
The party moves further into the camp, engaging another group of thugs, this one armed with a cannon. Shelby deftly sneaks up and dispatches the cannoneer, just as a sickly fog appears among the other bandits. Hacking and coughing, they stagger out of the necromantic mist while the leader, made of sterner stuff, charges straight towards the intruders. The wail from his weapon sends Aliya fleeing before he finds himself embraced by Ssay’s coils. However, the naga is in for a rude surprise when a bandit reaches the cannon and fires! Fortunately he is still coughing up blood from Euchtia’s death fog and the shot goes wide. Hauling the thrashing bandit leader along, Ssay moves to loom over the bandits gathered around the gun and Shelby. Distracted by this threat, the bandits are made short work of by the rogue.
However, while the combat is going on, the bandits’ pack of dogs are unleashed and come upon the unaware Lelyss. Pushed up against a wall, the lamia is surrounded and mauled by the pack before she can loose another arrow. Seeing the lamia’s peril, Ssay drops the lifeless husk of the bandit boss and rushes to her aid, ignoring the other dogs snapping at the tip of her tail. Roaring, she grabs one of the dogs, but as she does so, another dog leaps at her, sending her tumbling. Disregarding her vulnerable position, the naga grabs the offending beast by the throat as she comes crashing down, twisting around as she is carried forward by her momentum. He tail whips out to grab two more dogs in her coils before she comes to a halt next to a grateful Lelyss. Next to them the other dogs snarl and prepare to lunge at the supine naga when a surprise Schultz crashes into them from the side, sending them tumbling into each other, leaving Lelyss to focus on the last beast hounding her. With Aliya splattering hunting dogs left and right among the second pack and the huntsmaster unceremoniously snuffed out by Euchtia’s necromancy, the battle soon swings back into the party’s favour.
As the last dog breathes its last among Ssay’s coils, the naga immediately regrets passing over all those flasks of “sparkly water”, since she is now unable to help the badly battered Lelyss. She looks increasingly annoyed as the lamia has to use her remaining scrolls of healing because of this. Noticing the naga’s reaction, Euchtia tosses her a small potion with an amused look on her face. Nodding her thanks, Ssay hides the bottle and “discovers” it so she can feed it to Lelyss. Assured that the lamia will be okay, Ssay reluctantly agrees to move on — while scolding Lelyss for apologizing for making a tactical mistake. Euchtia also tells the duchess to take better care of herself, but is unsurprisingly harsher about it.
The party heads into the bandits’ last retreat, coming upon an inactive golem inside the dank cave. Remaining whisps of cloudkill do not seem to bother it, but before they can investigate further a shot rings out from the darkness. A hill giant accompanied by a pack of dogs strides out, with Ssay taking up position to block the way to Lelyss. The enemies launch themselves at the naga, the giant’s whip tearing vicious gashes in her skin that bleed profusely. Euchtia’s posse move up as well, earning them their own lashes from the giant’s whip. While the party is stuck fending off the dogs, Shelby drops her gun and sneaks around the bellowing giant. As the others move to engage, she stabs him in the back, dispatching him.
After the battle, Lelyss fusses over Ssay’s wounds. Euchtia does the same with Aliya, only to be distracted by all the blood. Swiping her hand against Ssay’s gut, she tastes the blood of both warriors until she snaps out of it, realizing Aliya might need care… Finished with Ssay, Lelyss helps the other warrior (but doesn’t she seem less fussing?). Further in they find a bunch of unresponsive slave miners, but the others convince Lelyss they should clear out the place before they get distracted.
Ssay tries to push the inactive automaton aside, but it comes alive and tries to punch her! They fight furiously, but even Ssay’s huge blows do little against its enchanted hide. reeling from numerous heavy blows, Aliya manages to get close enough to the golem to call upon the Power of the Mountain, delivering a shattering blow that sends it crumbling as a cantankerous voice complains about someone accicdentally activating the thing. “Shit, intruders” is all he can manage before Lelyss, having decided against calling for surrender, nails him with a hail of arrows, killing him more stone dead than his crumbled creation.
The camp cleared, the party picks up loot — Ssay even offering to carry a crate of potions they find! — frees the slaves and salvages the cannon before leaving with two prisoners in tow. Though triumphant, the cursed wounds left by the golem on Aliya worry Euchtia and she declares the town temple to be their first destination on the way home.

Session 39

Day 178
With Samson the ghostly familiar and Dubec, Lelyss’ hawk, surveying the skies, Lelyss spends a couple of days scouring the woods for these awful drug makers. Ssay reluctantly follows along. Thanks to Lelyss’ superb tracking skills, the two come upon a bandit hideout, but it’s not just a shack in the woods: A veritable fort have they raised, hidden deep in the woods. Calling her hawk to her, Lelyss sends for the others who join them before Ssay’s patience runs out.
A bit of aerial recon reveals the fort to be well-manned and the party spends some time wondering how they should approach it. However, when the gate opens for a returning hunter, they decide to spring into action.
Shelby sneaks up to the rickety wall before the rest of the party charges, led by a 35-feet tall Ssay. Crashing into one of the towers flanking the gate, the gigantic naga brings it toppling down, leaving Shelby with an opportunity to slip inside. There she drops a magical thorn that grows into a thick hedge of sharp points, effectively isolating the breached part of the fort from the rest.
Scrambling to defend the fort, the bandits unload their muskets at Ssay, but do little damage. Shelby deftly darts in between them, cutting them down at the slightest hint of distraction. On the other side of the battle, the last lookout is sent flying from the remaining tower, two of Lelyss’ arrows stuck in his chest.
The battle is over so quickly that the party can move to engage the rest of the inhabitants before they can react. “Take some of them prisoner!” Euchtia asks the others a split second before she has Schultz rush and eviscerate a bewildered blacksmith. Acting on the vampire’s request, Lelyss throws her net at the old man, but before she can catch him, Schultz has smashed him into his own anvil and cut him up bad. While the others engage a nearby druidic gardener and his helpers, Lelyss tries to save the dying blacksmith, but he is too badly injured for her skills to suffice. Turning into a bear, the druid charges at Ssay, but before the snake woman can ensnare him in her coils, Euchtia has pointed a finger at him, slaying him instantly. With the remaining bandits safely tucked away in Ssay’s grasp, Shelby goes about tying them up… before the naga’s hunger consumes them.

Session 38

Day 163-174
After returning from the sprite hideout, th eparty spends the next weeks idling about the mansion while work is underway to expand and improve it. Occasionally, Euchtia asks the ghostly minstrel trio to perform for the labourers. As work continues, servants start trickling in, such as Aisha and Liling, both ecperienced cooks. Not everyone is pleased by the unfinished state of the place however. Gertrude, the new head housekeeper, requests a cheerfully granted audience with the Duchess and airs her concerns. Her concerns assuaged somewhat (though expressing doubts as to how well Lilith can be trained to be a servant).

Day 175
The local priestess visits, telling the Duchess that someone has been disturbing the graves in the graveyard. The party finds a bunch of thugs at the graveyard and it turns out they haven’t been disturbing much, only making a mess while dealing drugs. Lelyss wants to find and bring the cooks to justice as well, but the others convince her that rushing off into the forest at night when she can’t see in the dark is a bad idea. Instead they send off Lelyss’ hawk and Euchtia’s familiar to scout and drop off the head drug dealer with the concerned priestess. The next morning, Ssay accompany Lelyss in her search to make sure nothing bad happens to the overly eager Duchess.

Session 37

Day 163
After taking a nap after the last fight, the party continues deeper into the strange temple. Finding a corridor lined with huge berries shrouded in a fragrant aroma. After determining that the strange dirt patches there are not traps, they go on ahead, but the tantalizing aroma gets too much for Aliya, Lelyss and Shelby who proceed to stuff their faces. Euchtia immediately goes nuts, trying to shake Aliya out of her gluttony by any means necessary, including attempted spirit possession and the fear of the grave. The latter shakes both Aliya and Shelby out of the frenzy, while Lelyss keeps happily gorging herself, pushing Allayn out of the way to get at more berries.
Puzzled as to why two of them just stopped eating, Ssay is told they might be poison. Afraid of what might happen to the increasingly swollen Lelyss, the naga has Allayn check the super-berries for “badness”. He can’t find anything wrong with them, aside from being apparently irresistably delicious. Euchtia still isn’t convinced, saying she prefers not to “drag a swollen Lelyss around.” and she and her posse starts to move on ahead. Ssay is left torn between watching over the still-gorging Lelyss and potential battles ahead, but she does not have to ponder long. Suddenly, more stick-men and some strange nut-spitting plants block both exits!
As Aliya take up position on the east side to protect her mistress, Ssay rushes between the plant monsters and the busily grazing Lelyss. The battle lines are drawn up at each side of the corridor, with Schultz charging ahead and knocking the stickmen into each other with the sound of the world’s angriest xylophone player. In the middle, Lelyss finds herself having eaten all the fruit on her side and waddles awkwardly over to the opposite wall. On the way, having nothing to eat for a moment, she launches a devastating salvo of arrows that splatters one of the plant creatures all across the dirt floor. With Lelyss settled at another banquet, Ssay reaches out to grab several of the survivors, crushing them with her bulk and draining their planty life’s essence. The rest of the assailants fall to Euchtia’s terrifying magics and the party’s blades.
Glutted on fruit, Lelyss turns her attention to the dead nut-spitters and eats heartily of their nutty goodness. Even Euchtia has a taste of the delicious fruit now that the danger is passed. Once Lelyss has eaten more than her fill once more, Ssay picks some berries “for the road” and helps the enormously bloated lamia maneuver down the corridor.

Rounding a corner just as Euchtia finishes her second fruit, the party finds themselves face-to-face with the sprite shaman once more. Doing its usual jig, an absolutely colossal plant monster with many snarling heads dripping with poisonous saliva emerges from the ground. The thing grasps at Aliya as she marches forward, holding her in one of its snapping maws despite her increased size — and swallowing her whole. Ssay swats at the accursed shaman with her spear as hungry plant mouths fail to hit their mark around her, but too stuffed to aim properly, Lelyss’ arrows are no more accurate than the plant monster. However, Allayn has better luck and manages to bring the bruised sprite down. A split second later, a massive explosion is heard from deep within the plant monster. A flash of light escapes one of its mouths as smoke starts pouring out — Aliya is obviously giving it one hell of a stomachache! Its troubles aren’t over over as Shelby maneuvers around it and while it is distracted finds its weak point and slashes furiously, carving all the way to the trapped Aliya in what seems like a blink of an eye! As the plant decays, a rather damp Aliya is left standing in the middle of its rotting carcass.
Everyone congratulates Shelby on her vicious blows, with Ssay mentioning they might be needing new servants because Shelby is “starting to become more warrior than servant”. However, much to Ssay and Lelyss’ chagrin, the curse is not lifted. The lamia recovers the sprite’s wands and hands them to Euchtia. Unfortunately, Euchtia can’t quite understand how they work, only that they are indeed enchanted.
In the next room a large magical fire burns before a the skeleton of a priest clad in magical armour. While Euchtia tries to interrogate the dead priest, Ssay is more interested in the force emanating from the firepit. Finding it merely warm to the touch she plunges her hands into it and draws the life force emanating from it as if it were a living being. The power rushes into her and she can feel herself swell with it, but can’t help but pushing to consume it faster and faster… as her expanding body starts to push against her armour, the flame dies down and she staggers backwards… back to her normal size plus a few extra kilos! In fact, the sprite shaman’s curse is suddenly broken, with the others returning to their normal size. Euchtia looks annoyed by this, but Lelyss is overjoyed.
Getting nothing but the name of a place from interrogating the dead priest, the group gathers their hard-won spoils and head home, making sure to stop by a certain big bear on the way…


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